The Truest Lie

I just finished saying goodbye to my 4-month-old granddaughter—a cherubic face and a smile that ignites grace in the soul of anyone who happens to catch her eye. Her presence means a bit more to us because of the challenges her mother went through to bring her life.

I remember well the sacrifices my daughter made as she chose to conceive, carry, and give birth to that little girl. It was a rollercoaster of emotions and difficult times for nearly every day throughout and up until the actual birth. 

She exercised her choice (yes—that word again) and gave birth to a healthy little girl who has brought joy into everyone’s life, more joy than anyone could previously conceive ahead of time. 


Each conversation about abortion sends a sharp pain to my heart. Bringing about life is one of the rare times that we, as humans, are able to co-create with God.

My heart hurts not just because the New York legislation has allowed late-term abortions—they weren’t even the first or the last state to do so.

 It’s not just that the law makers blatantly and shockingly broke into applause as they did so as well as lit up the World Trade Center in celebration—pink, reminiscent of the pink baby afghans I crocheted for all 5 of my newborn granddaughters.

It’s not just that the very act of abortion is incredibly violent—that of dismembering the child to remove it from the womb. Ironically, a pro-life movie received an R rating because, according to the MPAA, it contains “disturbing/bloody images.” The MPAA refuses to alter the rating “unless all scenes of abortions are removed or altered.” (Here’s another interesting Daily Signal article about that rating.)

I understand the sacrifices women make as they become mothers: it may not always happen in the timing of their choosing, the toll a pregnancy takes on their bodies, the emotional changes, and not to mention the monetary challenges.

It’s that my heart aches not only for that aborted child, but more so for the loss those women will experience. Statistically less than 1% of abortions are due to actual physically dangerous situations. In most states more than 40% of abortions are performed through the choice of the mother. 


Years ago I attended a lecture by a law school professor who was very active in the Pro Life fight, testifying before congress and the United Nations. At the time I was pregnant with my third child and he said something that I hadn’t really considered before but that I think about constantly today, seeing the truth in his observations.

He said that with Pro-choice groups very little is said about the baby, and with Pro-life groups very little is said about the mother.

And that’s where the sorrow comes in. To carry a child to full term despite the challenges and timing requires faith – and a village. I will concede that some of these women have very little support, whether from friends or family. They may panic at the idea of raising a child on their own. I get that. A child deserves a mother and a father, despite the cultural rhetoric and junk science that claims the contrary.

If I could change a few things I would offer more cultural support for the pregnant woman that felt she could not raise a child at this time. A support that would allow them the privilege of bringing joy and life to the thousands of couples—male and female partners—who are anxious to raise a child of their own through adoption, many of them willing to offer all kinds of support to the pregnant woman. Or, at the very least, support for those brave single mothers.

Despite all of the challenges my daughter went through—and there were many I myself did not have to confront with my own pregnancies—she is so grateful today that this little girl is in our lives.

There are many, many unexpected challenges that arrive in any given human being’s life. Some are harder than others and some people have a greater support system. But to terminate a life with a false promise that a woman’s life will be better and that there will be no consequences because of her decision is more than folly. It is evil. It is harmful—to that woman and to our society and culture as a whole. No choice is ever, ever made in a vacuum. 

Taking a life with the promise of no emotional, physical, or cultural consequences is the great lie of today. And anyone who attempts to perpetuate that lie will one day answer for that deception and the harm they have caused.


Author’s note: For anyone who has been lured by the lie or has a loved one that has suffered because of an abortion, there are many counseling groups that can help. One is Project Rachel—Hope After Abortion. It lists resources and agencies listed by state.